Australian wine madness reaches a new peak this week with the release of a pair of outrageously priced chardonnays. Anyone who pays $600 for a 2020 Levantine Hill Optume Chardonnay or $875 for the non-vintage Penfolds V Chardonnay qualifies as a mug with money.
The avarice of wine companies clearly knows no bounds. Conning the wealthy out of their money is still a con.
The description of the Optume Chardonnay on the company website is a masterful construction of meaningless words that is worthy of a place in Private Eye’s Pseuds Corner:
Showing volume and weight with finesse and restraint, this intense, slow-building, enticingly fuller -bodied Chardonnay is the result of an assemblage of seven vineyard sites. It leads with an aromatic intensity of pear, fig, caraway seed, dates, crème anglaise and char with an undercarriage of flint and chalk. The complex, plush and textural palate delivers richness with focus and precision. Befitting a regionally representative wine of this ilk, the intensity of presence, flavour and subtle power resound with length and persistence.
If that helps you know what this wine tastes like then you are a better man than me Gunga Din.
As for the Penfolds V, what can we say? Clearly there were remnants left in tanks of the 2021, 2016, 2014, 2012 & 2011 Yattarna Chardonnays. Let’s get Penfolds Chief Winemaker Peter Gago and White Winemaker Kym Schroeter to put them all together in one lot to “craft a complete re-imagination of our flagship white wine.”
Proclaim that “Penfolds V is an evocative wine that magically captures and evolves the finesse, restraint, complexity & character of Australian chardonnay.” And instead of charging $180 like we do for the 2018 YATTARNA BIN 144, bump it up to $850 in the knowledge that there’s one born every minute.
